Sunday, March 3, 2013

PMC Thought #9: Heart of Success' Law No. 7: Don't Settle for Success; Make a Difference - Strive for Significance

It's been a long time since the last part of the heart of success has been written in these pages. We've come to the part where I, as a reader, would say that's worth the money spent for the book.

Because of the significance of the last law, I wouldn't be giving it much justice if I would have to say it in my own words.  So let me share with you the stories that Rob Parsons wrote in the last part of his work.

For Parsons, the world has truly advanced in the past few years, and with the fast-phased world we are living, life has seems to be getting shorter.

The British Businessman
Parsons relayed the story of a successful British businessman who once invited him for a short break in the man's Mediterranean villa. The businessman was just about forty years of age but already helped build a multi-million pound business.  The villa was so large, the guests would often got lost. One morning, over a cup of coffee, the businessman told something that surprised Parsons.  "It's not enough," he said.  "People think that when you have it all, you really do have it all.  But you don't." Then he told Parsons a life-changing experience.  The man was diagnosed with a life-threatening illness.  The businessman then said, "...on that autumn day in a London hospital, I realized, for the first time in my life, that even if I recovered from my present illness, it was only a respite - one day I was going to die.  What I really crave now is not success - I have that.... I want to make a difference."

"If you and I are to discover the heart and soul of success it may be wise not just to consider the 'now' but to try to imagine life some years down the road," Parsons said.  When we are younger, the rules are clear - to get to the top, to have that parking space marked "Director" and for people to say, "That's a successful man."  But as we grow older, we long for more than success, we want to be seen as someone significant.

A Mistake that Changed a Man's Life Forever
And Parsons said that it is not too late, no matter how old we are.  Then, he relayed the story of Alfred Nobel.  Nobel, in 1867, patented his 'dynamite.' Soon after, he amassed significant fortune and had patents in almost all industrialized country.  But one day, a simple mistake changed Alfred's life forever.  The death of his brother was mistaken as his.  It was an experience most of us may never have.  He got to read his obituaries.  From there he learned the people called him "merchant of death" and a man whose "fortune was amassed finding new ways to mutilate and kill." From that day, Alfred Nobel vowed that that was not the way he wanted to be remembered.  He then begun using his wealth to promote arts, science and peace.  And the rest is history.

The Dustman
Parsons shared his own experience with success and significance through his experience with their dustman - Ron.  Ron is a homeless man who's been living with the Parsons even before they have their first child.  By the time Ron moved in to the Parsons, Rob was promoted as partner in his legal practice. As an incentive, he was given a Mercedes Benz.  Parsons wanted to show-off and impress somebody, and that somebody, Parsons chose, was Ron.   Parsons then relayed the incidents that followed.  "As he fastened his seat belt and gazed around in wonder," Parsons said, "I explained, 'It's called a Mercedes Benz, Ron.'"  "I put one finger on the steering wheel and move it effortlessly" Parsons continued.  "Ron seemed impressed.  'It's called  power-assisted steering,'" he said. "Yes, Rob, I know.  We have it on the dustcarts," replied Ron.

I can't imagine how Parsons' self-thought success turned into humiliation at that instance.

According to Parsons, Ron used to be homeless but now spends some of his spare time with the soup run in the city center.  One day he went home wearing old shoes.  When asked where were his new shoes, he just said he gave it to somebody and that he will just save for another pair.

Take time to think
Parsons then shared this piece of advice about taking time to think. "If you are lucky enough to have a few seconds when a phone is not demanding to be answered or a moment when someone is not knocking on your office door asking you to 'spare a minute,' then nurture that brief episode. If you're in an airport lounge, don't feel under pressure to get straight to your mobile or to fish some papers out of your briefcase, don't even feel the need to look busy.  Instead, buy yourself a coffee, find a quite corner and enjoy the glorious luxury of not making best use of your time.

"The sheer lack of thinking time - time to smell the roses, to strategise, to let our visions and dreams crystallize, to consider our real priorities - is one of the reasons may (of us) get stuck in a rut.

Real Life Goals
The last story and perhaps the one with the greatest impact in being successful and still have a life is this.  One of Parsons friend, Matthew, was travelling in a chartered plane.  While on air, Matthew jot done some of his life goals.  They concerned the kind of money he would hope to earn in then years' time, the position he would have in the list of partners on the firm's notepaper and the value of the house he would live in.  But something terrible happened.  They had trouble with one of their engines and so they have to land in just a single engine.  Parsons shared what Matthew told him after that incident.  Matthew, during that millisecond of trouble in the air, he looked down at the goals resting on his lap and then looked out of the left window, saw the propeller stop and turned back to his list.  He whispered, "This are not my goals.  I've got bigger ambitions than these. I want to be a better father, a better husband, I want to leave this world a little better than how I found it."
***

I hope that with these short series where we studied Rob Parsons' Heart of Success, you've learned as much as I do that for us in PMC "it is not the destination that matters but the journey and of what we become along  the way."

As we conclude this series, let me ask the same questions Rob Parsons asked:
  1. What is it for?
  2. For whom am I doing it?
  3. Why am I doing it?
Perhaps these questions really are at the heart of success.

***

Thank you for staying with us in this series.  The next series will be about a great book I've just re-discovered.  George S. Clason's the Richest Man in Babylon.  So stay tune... PMCers!

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