PMC Thought #2: The Heart of Success

In our previous article, we’ve talked about talent and skills.  This time and for the succeeding articles, we'll talk about the lessons we get from the book “The Heart of Success” by Rob Parsons. 

We will be talking about the seven laws of making it in business without losing in life that Parsons taught in his book.

This book, as the title suggests is about making it in business and being successful without losing it in life. 

“Again, Roy, isn’t this PMC?  Why are we talking about heart of success and all this stuff?”

Because we all want to be successful, we all want to be millionaires or at least make other millionaires and before we move on to becoming millionaires, let us first define why we want to be one and how.  Let us further examine our motives and “whys.”  Before we make it to our first million, we would like to first set the path right.  Why are we taking this road?  Why do we want success?  Do we have what it takes to be successful?  What is the heart of success?  Probably, and as our philosophy has been, it will never be about the money but of what we are becoming. 

Having said that, let us begin with Law Number 1:  Don’t Settle for Being Money Rich – Time Poor.

In this first law, Parsons describes the new poor of today.  He said,

“These people have a very high standard of living, but an appalling quality of life.  They have every time-saving gadget and yet bitterly complain that ‘there aren’t enough hours in the day.’  They have the very latest in communication technology – you can reach them anywhere, anytime – but they find communicating with those they love almost impossible.  They have a second home but they have precious few hours in their first home.  They have everything and they have nothing.”

Parsons called these new poor the “time paupers.”  He further mentioned a letter from a woman which reads thus,

“Andy and I were so in love when we got married.  It’s hard to known when we really grew apart.  His job became more and more demanding.  He came home so tired he could hardly say hello, let alone tell me about his day or be prepared to be interested in mine.  I hated it.  And then as the years went by a strange thing happened.  I learnt to live without him.  It was as if something inside said, ‘You’re on your own; for your sake and the kid’s sake, face it and learn to live with it.’  And one day I realised I didn’t love him any more.  The voice I had longed to hear I now hated.  He must have sensed this because, incredibly, he then wanted to talk.  But it was late.  It was over."

Furthermore, Parsons added,

“I have spent much of my life helping businesses to expand but I have come to believe there is little point in doing so if a higher standard of living brings with it a poorer quality of life (emphasis mine).”

Law Number 1 is about avoiding the trap of being money rich but time poor. 

In closing, Parsons related a story of a boy who asked his mother “Why does father come home later than all the other kid’s dads?”  His mother replied, “Well, because he can’t finish all his work in normal time.”  “Why don’t they put him in a slower class?” said the boy.

At the end of the Chapter, Parson listed some “danger signs.”  Let’s take a look at them and see where our current situation fits in.

DANGER SIGNS AT WORK

·         You’re still up to your neck in your last project.  Nobody could possibly do it as well.

·         You work longer hours than anybody else.

·         You resent colleagues who seem to have found some balance.

·         You take work home every night and on weekends.

·         Your schedule has no time for creative and strategic thinking.

·         You are impatient or edgy with colleagues and family when pressured.

·         You find it hard to delegate.

·         You find it hard to accept even gentle and constructive criticism.

·         Your responses to cries are emotional and disproportionate.

DANGER SIGNS IN YOUR BODY

·         Increasing headaches;

·         Itching skin;

·         Prolonged exhaustion;

·         Stomach complaints;

·         Often being ill on holiday;

·         Increasing irritability;

·         Difficulty in concentrating;

·         Getting annoyed at the smallest thing – for example, if the petrol pump doesn’t dispense quickly enough!

DANGER SIGNS IN YOUR FAMILY

·         Your kids have stopped telling you about their problems and achievements.

·         Your partner feels excluded – you don’t row so much as simply not talk anymore – what one husband called a ‘creeping separateness.’

·         You are often late for important family events

·         Your finances are out of control.

·         You believe yourself when you say, ‘Soon we’ll have more time.’

DANGER SIGNS AMOUNG YOUR FRIENDS

·         You usually have meals in your business clothes.

·         You have lost touch with the world around you – current affairs, sports, arts, movies.

·         Your eyes glaze over during normal conversations and only sparkle when you talk about work.

·         Your friends stop calling.

·         In short, you’re a bore.

Parsons also provided certain guides on how to follow Law Number 1.  In essence, he suggested the following:

·         Consider whether your quality of life has deteriorated in direct relation to an increase in your standard of living.

·         Consider the possibility that your long hours have more to do with your need to be recognized as ‘hard-working’ than the job in hand.

·         Practice saying ‘No’ in front of a mirror. 

·         Do your part in creating a work culture that honours achievement rather than long hours.

·         Don’t settle long-term in a company that demands your soul or tries to buy your years with money or power (emphasis supplied for some of my friends – you know who you are guys!)

·         Establish a life-board – three people you respect who will give counsel and direction. 

As we aim for success and in being millionaires, it is inevitable that we would have to put on a lot of hard work and tremendous working hours to reach our goals.  Nothing’s wrong with that as long as we stick with the proper reasons.  As we try to climb that ladder of success, let us ask ourselves what Kevin Kaiser, Adjunct Professor of Finance, INSEAD, has said, “Is that ladder ‘leaning against the right wall?’”

We hope that you learned something from our today's article.  In the succeeding days, we will be sharing with you more from the book The Heart of Success.  

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